Doctors ¡@

Third Place Winner 2006 English Humorous Speech Contest  Roy Chen Elite

If there is a guy who wears a pure white coat, has a high social class and makes a lot of money, do you admire him? You do? OK! Let me tell you some stories of so-called doctors.

Personally, I am a doctor. When I was in the medical school, I went to the hospital to be a clerk. I remember, the first day I wore my brand new white coat and stepped into the hospital, I swore to God, I will become the greatest doctor, cure many patients, save many lives and date all the beautiful nurses in the hospital. However, as time goes by, there were old doctors, young doctors, old nurses and young, pretty, charming nurses walking by me. Nobody ever paid attention to me. Like I was invisible. How can they treat a great doctor like this? Suddenly, a doctor in a long robe, with grey hair and a serious face came to me. He said ¡§Are you my clerk?¡¨ He seemed to be somebody, so I replied with respect¡¨ Yes, sir!¡¨ ¡§Come with me!¡¨ Then he put an X-ray film on the white board.
¡§What's this?¡¨  ¡¨Well, it looks like an X-ray film.¡¨		 ¡@


¡¨I know it's an X-ray film! I am asking you what's the patient's problem.¡¨
¡¨Well, it looks like there are some problems with his chest.¡¨

¡¨Of course there are some problems with his chest. Why the hell do you think he gets a chest X-ray. What's this?¡¨
¡¨It's the heart.¡¨Heart!! You broke my heart. Is your heart on the right side? ¡¨It is a cancer!! How can I teach a stupid clerk like you?¡¨

 Then he just left. I stood there with tears swelling insides my eyes. The first day, I realized that clerks were the most humble people in the hospital and our job was to please the senior doctors, like a dog.

After the invisible life of clerks, I grew up and became an intern doctor. An intern doctor can prescribe some simple medications and perform some procedures. So, I was thinking, Haha! it's my turn to be a real doctor. This time, the patients will respect me and the nurses will worship me. When I was excited and imagining the romance that is going to happen to me. Suddenly, a young nurse came to me. She was the most beautiful nurse in the hospital. The flower of the hospital. At that time, I was sure that I heard something. OH no! It's my heart beats. I tried to stay calm. A great doctor can't be nervous. She stood in front of me and smiled at me. Then she threw something on the desk. At first I thought it was a love letter. But it seemed too big and too thick. Unless she had so many things she wanted to tell me? No! It's a chart, the medical record of patients. She said ¡§Room 13 complained of headache. He wants to see the doctor!¡¨ She didn't even call my name. Was she too shy or something? After 10 minutes, more than 10 nurses came to me and did exactly the same thing to me. ¡¨Doctor, Room 6 wants to see you, because he can't sleep.¡¨ I realized intern doctors were just the cheap labors in the hospital who worked for more that 70 hours a week and got a little more than 10 thousand dollars a month. You do the math.


 After I finished the seven years in the medical school, I became a resident doctor. Residents have to live in the hospital. Whenever the patients need us, no matter how sleepy we are, we have to get up and solve their problems. One night, while I was sleeping, a nurse woke me up. I was unhappy. But I knew a patient must need me. So I grabbed the chart and rushed to the patient. ¡¨Sir, how can I help you?¡¨ The man seemed a little confused, and then he said¡¨I am ok, but I have some trouble sleeping.¡¨¡¨Really? But the nurse told me you have a chest pain. It's very serious. ¡¨¡¨No, I don't have any chest pain!¡¨¡¨Well, ok, you are going to have open heart surgery tomorrow, so it's common to be nervous.¡¨¡¨Wait!! I am just here for general examination! What open heart surgery?¡¨ At this time, the nurse came in, and she yelled ¡¨Doctor Chen, Room 6 is the next door. What are you doing here?¡¨ I ran out as fast as I could. I realized, to be a good doctor, there are a lot of embarrassing lessons you have to learn. Now, do you still admire those who wear white coats? Actually, I don't regret it, because I know, curing patients is never easy. And I will try my best to fulfill my dream---to be a great doctor!