First Place Winner 2003 English Humorous Speech Contest  Thomas Chen Sunrise

“Hey Thomas, is that your boy? He looks just like you!” Dear Toastmasters, Judges. My son Sean, is now 17. When my friends hear that I have a teenage son, they always ask me why I still look so young. Well, instead of using SK-II, I joined Toastmasters to keep me looking younger. You might wonder how old I am. Me? I am 34, and I got married 4 years ago. (Pause) Do the numbers confuse you? Don't bother to take out your calculator. I am going to tell you why.

When I was young, which was not too long ago, I heard people say: “Marry a wealthy woman to save you 10 years of hard work” Why should you work so hard to struggle for a good future? Just marry one!! (Pause). I

wasn't sure this really was true until one day, I met my match. I became a believer.

She was in the jewelry and antique business; she lived in a nice apartment in Tienmou. She spoke English and called herself a “Toast” “Master” (Pause) I thought she was a baker. (Pause) To me all the above equaled a 4-letter word - “R I C H” rich!! After a few dates, where of course she paid the bills, one night after a candle light dinner she told me, “Tom, if you marry me, I can help you skip 10 years of hard work.” I looked at her with dollar signs in my eyes and said “Oh! I will marry you and all of your money.” "What?" "No!! I mean I will marry you with all of my heart, [Honey!]” (Pause) She was pretty, sexy, and (pause) 8 years older than me, but if she could help me skip 10 years of hard work, then age is not an issue.  That night, I couldn't wait to get down on my knees and propose to her; my heart shouted inside, “SHOW ME the MONEY!!!!!!! Baby!” But, instead of money, she showed me a picture of a little boy. “What a cute boy, your sister's?” “No,” she said, “this is my son, my 10 years of hard work, soon it will become yours.” (Pause) (Mouth wild open) Oh! Boy! Can you imagine how hard that I was trying to get away?  However, a promise is a promise, and then you know the rest of the story! (Show the ring)

That's how I met my son Sean. People learn to be a father from a newborn baby, but I learned to be a father from a 10 year-old boy. I skipped 10 years of changing dippers, feedings and being his big toy. I started waking him up early for school, taking him out for dinner and doing his homework. One time I helped him do a drawing. The next day he told me that drawing won an award. Well, I always wondered if I had some talent for drawing. Sean helped me prove that, yes, I do. At least I could beat the level of a 10-year-old. (Pause) Since the time we have become pals and I am more like a big brother than a father. The first time I participated in a PTA meeting, his teacher asked me “Could you ask your mother to come? We need parents to participate not a brother.”  I said, I AM his father!! 

Sean asks hard questions all the time; most of the time I have to pick my brain to answer his questions, and that's how I learned my table topic speaking skills. I think he could be a Toastmaster, because he got the talent from his mother, they are both very talkative as I'm sure everyone knows!. (Pause)  I found out that Sean and I have a lot in common, we both love to read comic books, play computer games and watch pretty girls on the street (P) and criticize them. (Pause) That's how I learned to be a good evaluator, too. (Pause)

We are closer than he is to his mother. He is so considerate that one time I asked him: "Sean, if I ever divorced your mom, whom would you go with?"  He thought deeply and came up with an answer: "I will stay with my mom because she needs help to find another young man as good as you are to be my father. As for you, I don't think you will have a problem finding a girl to be my new mother."  That's my boy!!!

Sean looks up to me as a role model, and I am so proud to be his father. You might ask me “Is this worth it for the rest of your life?” I said “I missed the first 10 years to be part of his life, but I am sure I'll be there for him the next many decades to come” As to my son, Sean! You have to help make my dream come true. I skipped your first 10 years of being a young father, and I can't wait another 10 years to be a grandfather. Can you start working on this?  

Contest Master