First Place Winner 2005 English Humorous Speech Contest  Claire Lin YZU

when it happens to ourselves, that is definitely a tragedy. And it never occurs to me that this tragedy would happen in my family, and my father was the victim.

One day, I got up very early and decided to have my hair cut. AS soon as I went out, the phone started to ring. (Ring…Ring…) “Daddy~~ come and rescue me! I'm kidnapped. They beat me, kicked me and punched me a lot! I'm bleeding, I'm dying~Daddy~” Then my father heard a man with a Mainland China accent said, “You, listen. Your daughter is right here; if you want her back safely, show me your money!” My father was shocked by this phone call and replied right away, “OK OK, Don't hurt my daughter. Money is not a problem at all! Just tell me how much you want.” “I want one hundred thousand dollars!” The kidnapper said. My father replied immediately, “one hundred thousand?!! It's too…much for me. I don't have so much money; please don't hurt my daughter.” Then the kidnapper said, “OK, I give you 50% discount, 50 thousand, no more bargain! Otherwise, I'll cut her hair, cut her fingers, cut everything I can cut. CUT! CUT! CUT!” Then, my father stammered, “more..more..” The kidnapper said, “More??!! Of course you can give me more!” “No No No, I say more…discount.” The kidnapper was pissed off and shouted to my father, “ More discount???!! I'm the kidnapper, not a street vendor. And I'm very cruel; I say cut and I will cut!. CUT! CUT! CUT!” My father said, “But, but..I..I..only have 30 thousand dollars Please don't hurt my daughter, I beg you” Then the kidnapper said, “ 30 thousand?! Deal, since you're so sincere. Send the money to my account right now. Don't play tricks; remember, I'm watching you.”

Then my father rushed to the bank and remitted the money right away. After that, he ran back home as fast as he could. He burst the door open, and when he saw me, his eyes were filled with tears. He sobbed and said, : “My poor girl, they… they did cut your hair. Fingers? Did they cut your fingers too?” I was very confused and said, “Fingers? Oh! You mean finger nails? Yes, see~ I even had a manicure. Guess what? It's only cost me one thousand to have a new hairstyle and manicure. IT'S SOOOO CHEAP~~” Then my father was stunned; he looked at me, and stared at me finger nails. Suddenly, his eyes became bigger and bigger and he blew up, “Cheap??~~~ Do you know how much I spent on your stupid haircut and the silly manicure? 30 thousand dollars!!!” My father finally realized it's a telephone fraud and he was deceived. Then he yelled at me, “What's the problem with you? Why did you go out without leaving a note? It's all your fault!” I said, “I did. Just over there. See~” “Then..why..why did you have you hair cut in such a early morning? It's still your fault, if you don't pay me half of the ransom money, I'll.. I'll…I will cut your hair too!!” WoW~~ No way~~ Hair is women's second life; so in order to protect my hair, I have to….sacrifice my purse~

This is the tragedy that happened to my father…and to me. Although it's a tragedy, it turned my father into a tragic hero. My poor father, he was cheated because he loves me so much, so deeply inside my heart, he is always my hero. But poor I had to pay him the money just because…. I had my haircut in the early morning.